News?

"Today a disaster struck America." How many times have we heard that? OH MY GOD!!! Swine flu, bird flu, SARS, oil spills and earth quakes. Sweet, thanks for telling us. The news is supposed to be new right? It lacks some originality then.... I wonder if the news is owned by Disney. That would explain everything. It seems the news never really has anything to say, besides it's going to be sunny with a high of 75. I want some real news. Something about world peace or Lindsey Lohan has been sober for 50 minutes.

I am just waiting for that one day where the news man comes on and is like, "Today, America was struck with a large epidemic. While digging for oil in montana scientist uncovered a large man like creature that was deemed 'Manbearpig' and is seems to be spreading Swirapids around the country side." (Swirapids= Swine flu, bird flu, SARS, AIDS, oil spills and all the other stuff summed up in one virusy package) If that is on the news one day, I am going to laugh so hard before running to Walmart and getting a little white mask.

I am sure everyone would be scared, until they found out that the large man like creature was a prairie dog with diarrhea that someone saw then got sick with the regular flu. But massive animals spreading disease sounds so much cooler. I would by a news paper with a photoshopped picture of some nasty looking animal just to put it up on my wall. I just want something other then death, money issues, and PANDEMICS!!! AAAAHHH on the news.

Also it would probably help network ratings to get some better facts about stuff.